Shift Happens

Hello Starrshine,

How are you doing?

No, really - earnestly, honestly.

Let’s try that again…

How are you doing?

We get asked this question a lot and often give an answer without really thinking about it. It’s usually a simply “Good. How are you?” A typical exchange, which is sometimes the appropriate response.

Maybe, it’s because we feel as though we don’t want to burden this person with our struggles.

Maybe, it’s because this person hasn’t earned the right to hear about our struggles.

Maybe, it’s because we don’t know the answer and are too afraid to ask ourselves.

But, we need to. We need to make sure we are genuinely checking in with ourselves with this question.

Me, I’ve been struggling, which is why I’ve been less connected here… because I’ve been less connected with myself. I haven’t felt like myself in a while. And it’s hard to ask yourself how you’re feeling when you’re not connected with yourself or even sure where “you” are.

It’s helpful to look at our well-being as an island. 🏝️

Sometimes, we’ve living on top of the island; life is thriving, plants are growing, we’re in the flow of life, enjoying the sun on our face, the breeze in our hair.

Then there are days when we’ve fallen; clenching the earth for stability, security, safety, because everything around us is spinning out of control. There are days where we recover quickly from this fall, days where we get knocked down and stay there for longer than we’d like.

Hey, can you do me a favor and make sure to tell yourself that it’s okay to get knocked down and stay there for a minute or two until you’re ready to get back up?

Mother Earth supports us, heals us, nurtures us - let her.

But sometimes, she loses her grip and we fall through. Into the depths of the water and it feels like we’re drowning. We kick, flail, freak out, trying everything we can to save ourselves. We’re so far away from the flow of life that our nervous systems think we’re dying.

But maybe that’s the point.

Maybe, the universe is asking us to let parts of ourselves die to perverse the rest.

Like cells, that die every day to serve the greater good of the whole.

When we resist these little deaths, when we get out of the flow of life, but the universe doesn’t back off saying “Ok, you win.”

F**k no!

It gets louder, more forceful. It gives us a chance to be nurtured by the earth into renewal. That is until we keep resisting. Then, it throws us into the deep end, making us feel as though we’re drowning because the weight of all that we carry pulls us into the abyss.

Drowning doesn't happen because the water immediately filled us up. No, that’s not what happens first. First, we sink. Then we lose our air. And then that emptiness gets filled with water.

It’s not what we’re lacking that drowns us… it’s what we’re clinging to.

I promise, you will never need to cling to anything that’s meant for you.

We don’t need to hold on to it all or add more; we need to surrender the masks we’ve outgrown in order to fill our hearts with loving air and float to the surface. Then back through the earth, where we are asked to shed the layers that no longer serve us. And use that fertilizer to feed the seeds of renewal.

It’s okay to get knocked down.

It’s okay to stay there for a minute.

Eventually, you will learn to release some of the weight you’ve been carrying.

Soon, your heart will be filled with life-giving oxygen again.

And you will rise from the muck, like the seeds are doing all around us right now.

Trust in the process.

Happy Spring renewal.

Rest in Your Radiance,

Nicole Starr